الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
Dear Father,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very
hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply �an't think of anything I need, $o if
you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear
from you.
Love,
Your $on.
After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back.
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics,... [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
The following is supposedly a
true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most
likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
One student fell into a cycle of classes, studying, working and sleeping.
Didn't realize how long he had neglected writing home until he received the following note:
"Dear Son, Your mother and I enjoyed your last letter. Of course, we
were much younger... [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.
Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends... [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
Dear Mother and Dad:
It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been
remiss in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not
having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you
read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you
are sitting down... Okay?
Well, then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and
the... [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
Martin had just received his
brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and
climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the
first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind
the newly minted driver.
"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those
months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how... [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
A small boy is sent to bed by his father...
[Five minutes later]
"Da-ad..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
[Five minutes later]
"Da-aaaad..."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"
[Five minutes later]
"Daaaa-aaaAAAAD... [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat.
"My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?"
"Yes," said the Navy brat.
"My dad has built them."
Then the naval kid spoke: "And do you know the Dead Sea?"
"Yes."
"It's my dad who's killed it!" [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
An independent woman started her
own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in.
Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she
began interviewing young lawyers.
"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first
applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be
beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson,... [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.
The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy."
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream
sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as
the boy's nervousness builds... [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
A young man comes home and says "Dad, just got my driver's license and would like to use the family car."
Father replies, :"O.K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in
school, keep your room clean, make the yard is neat, and cut your hair.
Come back in a few months and then we'll see."
Well, several months pass and the young man comes into the house with
his report card in his hand... [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
A man is waiting for wife to
give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was
born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad
loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and
compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink.
Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of
him.
Dad orders up the... [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke.
His Mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also
left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you
want me to send that up too?"
"Uhh, oh yeah, O.K." responded the kid.
So his Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package,
kissed... [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
A grade school teacher was
asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be
first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"
Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"
Billy... [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
To The Tune Of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
Oh you better not shout, you better not cry,
You better not pout, I'm tellin' you why,
Daddy's home and I think he's drunk.
He's walkin' real slow, he slurs when he speaks,
I don't even think he's shaved in two weeks,
Daddy's home and boy is he drunk,
He spent most of our money on Johnny Walker Black
And then he took all of the rest... [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."
"No thanks," said the young man.
"My father wouldn't like it."
"Don't be silly," the minister said.
"Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of... [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
Today is one of the first
Father's Days of our new millennium. Fathers of 1900 didn't have it
nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages:
In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.
In 1900, a father's horsepower meant his horses.
Today, it's the size of his minivan.
In 1900, if... [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say
10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?
8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that.
7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car --... [اقرأ المزيد]
الجمعة, 09 فبراير, 2007
YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE FELL IN THE GRAND CANYON SHE GOT STUCK HALF WAY DOWN
[اقرأ المزيد]
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